new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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