the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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