She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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