He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize