one two three fourrrrnication!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
