She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
