Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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