I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
