i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The ass gains better be worth it
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