It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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