so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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