I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
