I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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