I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Randomize