and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
