i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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