i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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