why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize