i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
