the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
