how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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