My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
