Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Randomize