Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
