Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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