How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
