My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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