I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
