He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
