shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
