Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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