margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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