discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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