I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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