There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
