I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
