there's paper in my vomit.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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