that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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