hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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