I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
