that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
