blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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