yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
