Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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