in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
