Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
