its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
