we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
