remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
