hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
