also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
