yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think my mom watched the whole time
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
