after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
