I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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