in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
