Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
